Monday, November 21, 2011

So many days I feel like I have been punched in the stomach and there is this empty place left there. I can only describe it as a hole in the pit of my stomach that won't go away. It is absolutely horrible. There is nothing that can fill this void. So many ask if we will have more children, but more children could not fill it. We have so much love for Caleb and we are so thankful for him and at the same time, we have had a huge part of our hearts ripped away. We miss Levi so much. We are so sad about all of the things we will never get to do with him on this earth. While we know that this is all temporary and it will be such a short time compared to eternity, we absolutely cannot understand that. We are human and I don't believe it is humanly possible to comprehend how short our time here really is. It feels like so long.

I do want people to know that we are not just walking around depressed and without hope. We do have hope. We know that one day God will set all things straight and everything will be perfect. I have had a bad day and have had a lot of stuff going through my head. When I feel this way, all I can do it talk to God. I can talk to Him about what I feel and He knows what I feel. I don't have to try and find the words to explain like I do to my friends, He just knows and He always gets me through it. One way or another, He helps me through. I desire to continue growing in my faith and in my relationship with the Lord. I will forever cling to Him through this and I will try my best to do what I am supposed to do in my time here.

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