Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
-The Williams Family
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Caleb is a strong-willed, stubborn, cuddly, intelligent boy. He can argue for hours without plans of stopping until he gets his way. He likes to sing and dance although I don't know how good he will be at that since Michael and I are not very talented singers. He can be a perfectionist sometimes and gets discouraged when he doesn't do something just so. I love that little boy more than I could ever express!
Some of my favorite things about him:
-his chubby cheeks (they are just so kissable!)
-his facial expressions (he makes so many faces that remind me of Michael)
-his heart (he can be ugly just like any child, but he definately has his moments and can be incredibly sweet)
-his stubbornness (this is part of his personality and I love him for it, I believe it will come in handy in his carreer one day)
-his love of music (I love watching him sing and dance, he is super cute and has some pretty awesome dance moves)
There is so much more to my Caleb but here is just a little of what makes him, him
Friday, December 2, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
I do want people to know that we are not just walking around depressed and without hope. We do have hope. We know that one day God will set all things straight and everything will be perfect. I have had a bad day and have had a lot of stuff going through my head. When I feel this way, all I can do it talk to God. I can talk to Him about what I feel and He knows what I feel. I don't have to try and find the words to explain like I do to my friends, He just knows and He always gets me through it. One way or another, He helps me through. I desire to continue growing in my faith and in my relationship with the Lord. I will forever cling to Him through this and I will try my best to do what I am supposed to do in my time here.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Everytime I hear this song, it is exactly how I feel so I wanted to share it on here
Monday, November 7, 2011
I am not sure when this post will come out yet, just depends on how many questions there are.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I got the idea for these bracelets from a sweet friend who lost her baby boy just before Levi was born. She had 53 days with her Tate, only 3 days more than we had with our Levi. If anyone wants to read Tate's story her blog is http://babytategranted53.blogspot.com/.
Some friends from our Sunday School class were at the festival too. Their kids are Cohen and Harper. We tried to get a picture of the kids together but we couldn't get them to sit still long enough. Here is the best one...
Friday, October 21, 2011
We took Caleb to the carnival our city has usually twice every year. We are trying to be able to take him to do all of the normal things we would usually do with him and get him back to his normal routine as much as possible. I think we are going to start grief counseling sometime in the next week or two. We are going to go to a place that has counselors who are trained to work with children through play, art, etc. to make sure that Caleb gets what he needs. He has been upset and doesn't know how to express this so I want him to know that we are always here for him and he can tell us whatever he is feeling and that it is ok.
How I am feeling today...well, of course, I miss my sweet boy. I wish I could have taken him to the carnival tonight. I know I would have had him strapped on the front of me in one of the many baby carriers I purchased during my pregnancy and we would have been keeping each other warm. Everything we do is a constant reminder of the part of our family that is missing, but I do know that everything is going to be ok. I still know that God's plan is good. That has not changed simply because things have happened that I wish I could change. I will remain faithful and say, Blessed is the name of the LORD.
Back to the carnival. Two of my sisters were there with their husbands and each brought one child with them. My mom, her husband, and my little brother were there. My friend, Laura also came and brought her daughter. We had a good time. The kids rode pretty much everything. My goodness, they are so stinkin cute!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I really just want people to be ok with the fact that I will be missing my baby for the rest of my life. I want people to understand that this will never go away and to just be ok with it. I want people to understand that no matter what is going on in my head, that I will always take care of Caleb and give him the love and attention he needs because he is just as important to me as Levi. And I want people to remember my Levi. He is such a huge part of my heart and will always be so I will not just forget him and get over losing him. I will probably still break down 20 years from now. No one has to have the "right thing" to say. It is fine, because there is nothing to say. Just love us and pray for us. Just show us that you care and that you remember Levi with us. I might want to talk about him, not because I want to make anyone else sad, but because I miss him and I need to talk about him sometimes.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I need to be taking more pictures of people when they come to visit Levi. If you come, please remind me. Tonight Mrs. Micheal visited so I told her she had to go on the blog.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
The plan now is to see how Levi can do over the next few days and if we can wean a little on the vent then Dr. A wants to do his surgery Thursday or Friday. This all depends on if he is ready. So, please be praying for good gases, good sats, and for Levi to be able to go down on the vent. God is so good! He is really working a miracle with Levi before our eyes! I am telling you, last week no one expected Levi to get any better. I could see it on the nurses' faces and hear it in their voices and now we are off ECMO! PRAISE THE LORD! We still have a long way to go, but this is a huge hurtle we have just passed. Keep praying! Keep praising God for ALL of our blessings, not only with Levi! I am so happy that you are all supporting us and following us on this journey!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
When you go on dialysis, you risk the kidneys shutting down. We knew this when starting dialysis, but we knew that dialysis was the only way we were going to get him dry enough to try and use his lungs. He has been off of dialysis since about 6:30 this morning and when we left at 10 he still hadn't gone tee-tee. We need to add this to our prayers for Levi. We need him to go tee-tee during the night and we need him to get those kidneys working again. We have just got to ask God for these things and believe that He will take care of this for us.
I am so overwhelmed with excitement. Levi is doing so good. We have to continue to trust our Father and push all the doubts and fears away. I have so many emotions right now, I am just overwhelmed, but in a good way. Please, please everyone continue to pray through the night that everything continues to go well and God keeps Levi going and protects him tomorrow while coming off ECMO. Pray that he is 100% ready to come off tomorrow. And of course, PRAISE THE LORD, for this is all His work!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
I have to start his post by saying PRAISE THE LORD! Oh, my! God is really showing off. Just since yesterday morning God has given us so much progress! Levi has been doing so good. Out of nowhere Levi is getting good blood gases and his Co2 was going down! This is exactly what we needed. The settings on the ECMO are really low. They are talking about starting the trial off in the morning. Please, please pray harder than you ever have that God continues this progress all through the night and gets Levi so ready to come off ECMO. Believe that HE will do it and that HE is doing it! We have to keep pushing any negative thoughts away and any doubts away and have complete faith. It is not up to anyone, only our heavenly Father! Just yesterday Dr. A. was thinking he was going to tell us to turn the pump off and here we are getting ready to come off! That is amazing! He is truly working on a miracle and Levi is going to have an insane testimony for all. I will share his story with everyone!
We just need everything to continue going the way it is. We need his Co2 to go down more and stay down. This is so very important. We believe God WILL do this because we are asking in faith! We need those sats to stay good and for Levi to do great during the trial off! We need him to do great so we an come off Monday. Please don't stop praying now. Please keep going! And please remember to sings lots of praises to our Father for granting us what we have asked! Praise him for all that he had blessed each of us with. Our God is so good and my heart will forever sing no other name than Jesus!
Friday, October 7, 2011
What a day! We are on our way home from the hospital for the night. Levi has done so good today, out of nowhere. Dr. A. came to talk to us this morning and said the good news was that Levi has made some actual progress but the bad news was that it isn't enough progress to get past the ECMO hump of our journey. He fully expected to come in and have "the talk" with us today but he wants to give him a day or two to continue with the progress and try to come off ECMO. So, he had air on his X-ray today, the most he has ever had. His blood gases have been good all day with his Co2 being low enough for them to wean his gas sweep a good bit. His sats were good all day! We had pretty good breath sounds today! PRAISE THE LORD, OH MY SOUL! We have been praying and praying! We have got to push away any doubts that we have, any negative thought. We have got to trust in the LORD and believe that HE is working on Levi and will heal Levi! I will not give up. I will continue to pray and continue to ask everyone else to pray. This has got to happen in the next day or two and we are ridding ourselves of all doubts and believing that this amazing thing is about to happen.
"Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes!" 1 Samuel 12:16
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Today we took Caleb with us to the hospital. We usually take him with us one or two days a week and then try to have someone else bring him another day or two. He was looking at Levi and talking to him and then he turned and asked me, "Mommy, when will Levi get to come home?". Oh, my goodness! It hurts so bad. All I could say was, "I don't know". I hate this. I felt so sure that Levi was going to pull through and amaze everyone as soon as he was born and I have never told Caleb anything different than he is going to come home. It's not that I haven't thought about this, he just hasn't asked this question yet and it hurts me so bad that Levi isn't better yet. Caleb has no idea just how sick he is and that the odds are against Levi. I haven't wanted to tell him anything different because I have been believing that God is going to heal Levi. I haven't given up and I refuse to, but this is all so hard. I am so frustrated! My child should not have to deal with this. It took him awhile after the last miscarriage I had for him to understand that he wasn't getting a brother or sister and now he has a brother who is extremely sick in the hospital. The circuit is starting to get clots in it and Levi isn't better. I can't help it; I am scared. I never wanted to do this. I am not strong enough for this. I DO still believe in a miracle for Levi. It is hard because I know without a doubt that God is able to heal Levi and turn it all around, but here we are and Levi is not doing good at all. I don't want to lose him. I love him so much. I don't want Caleb to lose his brother. It has taken so long to get him here, I can't stand the thought of Caleb not getting to keep him, of us not getting to keep him. I just keep praying and praying that God will keep him here with us. I am probably rambling on and on, I have just had an emotional day. I suppose that is all for now.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
He had good breath sounds today and some air on his X-ray. They gave him a new ET tube today so he had two X-rays today, at around 4am and 4pm. The one from the am had a little air and the one from 4pm had even more air. Keep praying for him! We need lots of air in those lungs and we need them to work! Our sweet nurse practitioner took some pictures of Levi for us without his tube when they were changing it out.